The Calm after the Storm

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Hello again beautiful one, it has been a long time since I have written on these pages. I have missed writing, sharing and connecting with you all so much. I am a big believer that everything that I put out into the world is positive and full of love and so for the last year I have had to pull back.

Last year was a huge one wasn’t it? I know for many it was difficult and I was no exception. It was a massive year of big wake up calls, life changing endings and beginnings, unbearable heart ache. I was scared to share my journey as it was happening last year and it was one I was not really able to articulate through words. I felt it to my very core, my emotions were so raw, so overwhelming and new to me. I must admit that for a while I disconnected and so this year has been all about (so far) coming back home.

From last year many, many, many ahha’s were had and clarity also came from that tumultuous year. Last year I felt like I was drowning, so much sorrow, fear and heartache kept pulling me under these massive churning waves but as the storm clouds started to clear and the ocean began to calm I finally was able to come up for air and see the beauty of what I had endured and the blessings that came from it. Just like the caterpillar that emerges out of its cocoon after the struggle, this year I do feel like a beautiful butterfly that has been reborn on some level. I still have my sea legs as I am now seeing things for the first time (in some instances) and everything is new in this form I have now been reborn as.

My life has completely transformed and in a sense I feel like I am now a woman. I realized on a whole new level that I am 100% responsible and accountable for the life I live. I saw that I have a tendency to start things and not finish them, that I love risk and new ideas but fail to make plans so I succeed, that how I think, live and feel impacts others so profoundly and sometimes triggers them on levels I cannot even begin to understand. I realized that I MUST live and speak my truth otherwise that is how you die inside and that sometimes to compromise for another can mean ultimate death (of your soul). I also learnt true sacrifice on a level that has actually rocked me to my core and the effects are still rippling throughout my life. And lastly I learnt that energy is everything. Energy in my environment, energy from the past (that I still carry) and energy that I bring to every situation.

I have actually found myself to be so much calmer this year. More reserved. To observe rather than jump. To do rather than dream. To be patient and realise that everything will come in the right time.

I have found myself this year stepping back from my business and returning to the corporate world (more on that in blogs to come). It has been a game changer that is for sure. A massive eye opener after being in a very awake and wellness focused work world for the last few years BUT I clearly see that there is work to be done in this space and I am up for the challenge. Exciting things are in the pipeline stay tuned!!

Returning to the corporate world has very clearly highlighted to me areas I still must work on within myself, though I know this will be a life long journey. A world of opportunity is evident to me in ways I have never seen before and I must admit the financial gains of returning to fulltime work has been a very big relief for my family. By taking this financial pressure of it has freed me to be able to spend the time and energy on rediscovering my passion and also on looking after myself through self-care and therapies I have not been able to afford in a long time. How I am loving acupuncture, EFT and massages!

I also have decided to return to uni and finish my business degree in Human Resources, only 9 subjects left. A big thing that came out for last year to me was finishing things I have started and so that is what I am doing.

With the passing of my high school friend Jess Ainscough this year I have also seen on a whole other level how precious our time here is and that one person can truly change the world. I bless Jess and thank her every day for the impact she has had on my life, for the amazing things I know because of her, for the friends that I now share this precious life with. No one will ever replace her and I dare say no one else will ever have the impact direct or indirect on my life that she has. Her passion and essence truly ripples throughout my entire life, and my families, and I honour her every day with my morning rituals, green juice and lifestyle. If you ever need guidance pray to angel Jess she will guide you, help you find your courage and the strength to move forward.

I am really excited to share with you so much more this year around organic beauty, conscious living, health and wellness. But right now I would love to hear from you, how was 2014 for you? What were the big lessons you learnt and how has that impacted how you are living in 2015?

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